jokes

Christmas bon bon jokes

How many times did you pull on a bonbon this Christmas?

three Christmas bonbons with Santa and Rudolph faces

Santa and Rudolph bonbons

We had them at two family functions, and actually found different jokes in each set. Not that they are necessarily jokes we haven’t heard before, but at least there was variety!

So to add some post-Christmas cheer (or groans as you may be inclined!) here are some of the jokes I came across this year… and they are all family friendly, too!

Christmas and Santa jokes

What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint nickel-less

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?
A rebel without a Claus

Where does Santa go when he’s sick?
the elf centre

What did the sea say to Santa?
Nothing! But it did wave…

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Hornaments

Boy in Christmas elf costume

Making someone smile makes you feel good too

What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
Santa paws

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells

What goes OH OH OH?
Santa walking backwards!

Why is it getting harders to buy advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered

Why does Santa love gardening?
Because he goes HO HO HO!

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum – you just can’t beat it!

What nationality is Santa?
North Polish

What do you get when Santa stops moving?
Santa Pause

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent Calendars?
They’re days are numbered

Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley

Other jokes…

What is green and goes camping?
A Brussel Scout

What’s the difference between a boogie and a Brussel spout?
Kids don’t eat sprouts

There were lots of non-Christmas and non-Santa jokes in our 2014 bonbons if you want some more to read or share!

 

Jokes from Christmas bonbons 2015

Pile of Christmas bon bonsLast Christmas, we had a lot of fun with a list of corny jokes from bonbons so I figured we’d do it again.

I’ll try to avoid copying any jokes we had last year but forgive me if I get any doubled up! The post will go up next week, but if you have any bonbons cracked before then, please email me the jokes and I’ll pop them in!

Using these jokes…

The obvious use of these jokes is to read them here and now and laugh 🙂

But I thought it would be nice to suggest other uses for these jokes, some of which are ideas from people last year.

  1. read them out on Christmas Eve as part of the build up to Santa’s arrival
  2. read then out at Christmas lunch, or randomly during Christmas Day (Hmm, does that mean you get twice the jokes or you don’t buy bonbons this year?!)
  3. share this page in social media so lots of people can get a laugh (or a groan as their sense of humour dictates!)
  4. use these jokes when making your own bonbons
  5. write out these jokes into Christmas cards or tuck them into Christmas gifts
  6. choose one or two and use them as an email signature for December
  7. use them as  Christmas countdown, sharing a different joke each day (Sorrowscal took this further last December when she made up a new joke each day!)

Let s know how you use these jokes 🙂

 

Christmas bonbon jokes, 2014

Following on from jcc481’s suggestion, I am going to compile jokes from this year’s bonbons 🙂

CHristmas bonbons with paper hat and jokes

Christmas bonbons, complete with paper hat and a sheet of jokes…

I don’t promise all will be funny – but it’s a sure bet some will make you groan! However, it will be fun and all will be clean and child-friendly. So here goes…

Jokes from the bonbons…

Which composer do dogs prefer?
Poochini

What do call two thieves?
A pair of knickers

What do clouds wear?
Thunderwear

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Doug

What do you call a man without a spade in his head?
Douglas

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
Lost

What do hedgehogs have for lunch?
Prickled onions

How does Jack Frost get to work?
By icicle

Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing

Why do cows lie down in the rain?
To keep each udder dry

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

How did my friend drown in a bowl of muesli?
He was pulled in by a strong currant. 

How many animals of each species did Moses take into the ark?
None, but Noah took two of each!

How is a banana peel on the footpath like music?
If you don’t C Sharp you will B flat

* I will add more after more bonbons on Thursday!

Your turn…

There’s only so many bonbons I come across so to make a large collection of jokes, I need help! I’d love you to add any other bonbon jokes you’ve come across this year to the list by putting them in the comments below.

PLEASE make sure only family friendly jokes are included…

Christmas jokes…

I have three jokes to share with you today…

What starts with P and ends with E, and has a thousand letters?

How do you make Lady Gaga cry?

Why is Santa so good at karate?

 

Santa laughing

Santa loves a good laugh – HOHOHO!

Answers…

 

Post Office
Poker Face
Because he has a black belt

hohoho with Santa!

I have some more Santa jokes to tell you…White bearded Santa looking in his sack

 

Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays?

At a ho-ho-hotel of course!

What does Santa put on his toast?

Jingle Jam

Why does Santa have a white beard?

So he can hide in the North Pole!

Christmas laughs…

Just thought I’d share a couple of jokes I know about Santa and Christmas…

 

What do you call people who are scared of Santa?

Claustrophobic!

What comes at the end of Christmas Day

Y!

Who is red and white and gives good fish presents for Christmas?

Sandy Paws 🙂

Christmas and Santa humour

There are many jokes and funny stories relating to Christmas and Santa so we’ve started a new category dedicated to thsoe funny bits of Christmas.

You can add jokes and riddles, poems and stories, as well as the real life thigns that happen to us around Christmas that make us laugh (including the thigns kids say and do!)

Here are a couple of jokes to get you smiling…

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

So he can go HO Ho Ho

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?

Because it soots him!

It was nearly Christmas when Santa was walking into a building with a kind lawyer and an honest politician. They saw a $10 note lying on the ground and one of them picked it up – which one picked up the money?

Santa of course – the other two don’t exist!

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