So just a few days after posting about the advantages of kids writing Christmas cards to their friends and classmates. I came across a story that shocked me.
Christmas card rejection story
Many children add a candy cane to friends’ Christmas cards
So the story is that a nine year old boy spent about two hours writing out cards for everyone in his class, including a picture for each child and adding in a candy cane each.
The next day, he handed out the cards and brought home some of them, minus the candy canes. When questioned, he told his mother that some kids didn’t want the cards so only took the candy canes.
My reaction
I am horrified that some kids could be so rude and disrespectful as to reject cards given to them in a spirit of generosity and care.
They could have at least taken the cards and thrown them in the recycling bin at home instead of refusing to take them. And as for taking the gift without the card – I just can’t comprehend being so rude.
That boy is like my children – he obviously put thought and effort into writing those cards and he deserved better treatment than he got. Even if you don’t like Christmas or cards, surely you can be taught to appreciate the thought and effort?
I don’t even accept that people who don’t believe in Christmas should act this way – if you refuse the card, you must also refuse the candy cane I’d say. And you can accept the card in the spirit it was given rather than take some high ground of not believing.
My son and I discussed cards for one of his classmates who is Muslim – he is aware she does not believe in Christmas and didn’t want to offend her with a card. However, I said let’s include her by giving her a happy new year card instead. Either way I can’t see her or her mother refusing to take the card as they understand it was out of my son’s respect she was given the card.
Is this common?
I have never before heard of anyone accepting only part of a gift and refusing the card attached. I certainly would not act this way nor allow my children to do so (not that they would – they always bring cards home proudly and want to display them).
Am I just lucky enough to be surrounded by people with more manners and appreciation for being given something? Or is this a rare instance of rudeness? In other words, have you ever come across this sort of behaviour?
Never heard of this before but to be honest, now days it doesn’t surprise me! If kids are allowed to say and do whatever they want chances are they are going to do just that. Very important for positive influences in ones life but some are just naturally rude! Most people do an excellent job teaching they’re children right from wrong and hopefully we continue to see and hear about the kind thoughts and efforts like the boy in your blog. Cheers!
Yes, most parents do a good job, Amanda – it’s just the few who don’t get it. As afar as this blog is concerned, you will certainly hear of more positive and generous actions like children making gifts for classmates and others sharing gifts.
Although it is disappointing, I’m sad to say that I’m not surprise. I’m a Muslim myself, but my parents always helped me write out holiday cards for my classmates so it goes deeper than religion.
You mentioned that it would be better for them to take the card and throw it away at a later time, but some children might throw the card away in front of the little boy which seems to be even worse than denying the card. I’m a young adult so my train-of-thought might be different, but I’d rather take back a card than see someone throw all my hard work away.
But I hope the young boy wasn’t negatively effected by the situation and will continue to spread the holiday cheer.
Thanks for your ideas Ali – I love that you as Muslims still wrote cards at this time of year because I see Christmas sharing & traditions as more than religion and because I love things that don’t separate us based on our religions.
True, having a card thrown out in front of you would be awful – if I wasn’t clear, I meant it would be better to take the card home and then throw it away so the giving child wouldn’t know. To me that is basic good manners…
Back when we was growing up we knew that it was the thought that counted. Now and days these kids believe that if it is not something of value it is useless. It does not make since for them to take the candy and not the card. I know the kids feelings were hurt after this incident. Many kids in society today do not know that the simple things are more important then getting nothing at all.
I still think it’s the thought that counts, Dadjdas2 – and am trying to each my kids that. I think many kids do understand it to some extent, but those who don’t get talked about more.
Ordinarily I would be upset if I ever experienced that kind of behavior, but during the holidays, those are exactly the kind of things that I can find it in my heart to overlook. I know there is enough joy to go round in this world, and every one can have as much of it as they choose. It’s really up to them how much they choose to take from the gifts that I give them.
That is very Christmas spirited and generous of you Clair. It’s true that forgiveness and acceptance is a part of Christmas and you’ve made me rethink my opinions here 🙂
having said that, I still think it is bad manners and would be very distressed if my kids acted that way.
Thank you. I appreciate you saying that. And as a mother, I have to agree that if my kids acted like that, it would be very upsetting indeed!